


Stand By You

by Fuzzball457



Series: K-Pop One Shots [10]
Category: K-pop, NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Dejun is sad, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Light Angst, Minor Character Death (Mentioned), Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun-centric, Yang Yang is doing his best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:20:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29227608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fuzzball457/pseuds/Fuzzball457
Summary: Even three weeks later, Dejun is still sad, so YangYang takes him to the coast for a weekend get away. It doesn't go as planned.
Relationships: Liu Yang Yang & Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun
Series: K-Pop One Shots [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1591903
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Stand By You

**Author's Note:**

> Me: Okay so, for WIPs, you have 2 Seventeen fics, one NCT fic, three Stray Kids fics, and one EXO fic, which would you like to work on?  
> Also me: Let's start a whole new WayV one. 
> 
> This super random fic was inspired by a scene in Your Name Engraved Herein where the two boys scream out some emotions at a beach. If you haven't seen it, you'll be absolutely fine to understand this, but I recommend the movie! It's a Chinese BL on Netflix and it's very beautiful and poignant. 
> 
> P.S. I'm not trying to make light of the grieving process or suggest there's a magic cure or right/wrong way to do it (literally the opposite), but I also didn't want this to be hella depressing. Grief can be super complicated. Hopefully the progression of emotion feels natural!

“Are you sure you guys are okay? Because I can cancel on this—”

“No, come on, we’re fine,” Yangyang said, glancing over at Dejun. Yangyang had needed to cross the road and wander around a bit to get proper signal, but he made sure not to let Dejun out of his sight. The older was leaning against the hood of their car, arms crossed and eyes glued to his feet. The sandwich Yangyang had purchased for him from the convenience store they were parked out sat next to him on the hood, unopened and untouched.

Yangyang bit his lip before continuing, trying not to let anything leak into his tone that might trigger Ten to come down with them. “Everything is going well. Stay there and focus on preparing for your presentation. Dejun and I are fine.”

“Are you sure, baby?”

“Yeah.” Despite his best efforts, he knew his tone fell a little flat. It was only their second day here, with most of yesterday going to driving out to the coast. Tomorrow, they’d have to head back by midafternoon if they wanted any chance of making it to their Monday morning classes on time.

The trip was Kun’s idea. Just a little weekend getaway. That’s how Yangyang sold it to Dejun, anyway. Just a fun little road trip for two best buds. They all knew what it actually was: a last ditch attempt to sort Dejun out and get him back on his feet.

No matter how “fine” he claimed, repeatedly, to be, Dejun had not returned to his former self in the three weeks since his father’s death. Three weeks wasn’t that long for mourning a parent, but no mourning seemed to be happening. Dejun’s relationship with his parents was complicated—so much so that until Dejun blankly put down his cell phone and announced to the table at large that his father was dead, Yangyang didn’t even know if his parents were alive or in contact with him—but there had been a distinct lack of any sort of grieving. No crying, no yelling, neither anger nor sadness. Dejun had continued without missing a beat, not even emailing his professors or taking a day off classes and assignments. He just did it all with a constantly distant look on his face and a robotic obsession with maintaining his schedule.

To be honest, it was a little disturbing.

“I’ve got to go,” he lied. “Give Kun my best.”

“Kun!” Ten shouted immediately, forcing Yangyang to pull the phone away from his ear. Distantly, someone shouted back before Ten, still at maximum volume, responded, “Yangie says to give you his best!”

“I didn’t mean, like, right this second,” he mumbled, even if he couldn’t help but smiling a little bit. Yangyang had been more than willing to come out here with Dejun, the only one who could easily take three days off given his class schedule (and lack of a job), but the constant silence and monosyllabic responses were starting to get to his head. It was hard to keep the energy up all by himself. The reminder that the loud, chaotic life he’d left behind was still there, waiting for his return, was a welcome one. Things hadn’t actually changed, no matter how quiet and stifled the last twenty-four hours had been.

At a more tolerable level, Ten returned. “Bye, baby. Take care of our Dejunnie, okay?”

“I will. Bye.”

He took a moment to breathe and collect himself. The air was saltier here, being so close to the ocean, and it almost seemed to sit on his tongue when he inhaled. Across the road, Dejun was still leaning on the car hood. For a moment, Yangyang felt painfully insufficient. He didn’t want to go back over there. But he didn’t want Dejun to be alone in his pain, either. He just wanted things to go back to how they used to be.

No matter how he felt, however, he was the only one here. It was up to him to help get Dejun back on track.

It’d sure be easier if the older would talk to him though, he thought as he walked over.

“All set?” he asked, smiling and slapping a hand on Dejun’s arm. The other hummed and made his way towards the passenger seat. Yangyang went around and climbed into the driver’s seat. “Save that for later, when you’re hungry,” he instructed Dejun, depositing the unopened sandwich on his lap. He suspected that Dejun had hoped he’d forget it was there and drive off, sending it flying off the hood. Well no such luck. In fact, Dejun was lucky Ten wasn’t here, as he’d probably strap the younger down and force some food into him.

“So the lady in the convenience store said that there’s a nice vista point up ahead where we can pull off and have a nice look around. Should be empty since it’s off season for the area. She said it’s probably too cold to get in the water, though. Oh well, we’ll just have to come back some other time!” Yangyang prattled on, very aware of Dejun’s silence and disinterested stare out the window.

This is what it had been like for weeks. What if nothing changed? What good was this whole trip if Yangyang just dragged him around blindly and then bundled him back in the car to return home, entirely unaffected?

“Later today there’s some kind of street market on the other side of town. The lady said that there’s little street performances and stuff in the evening. We should definitely check that out! We’ll take some great photos today too, to make Ten jealous.”

Ten’s cats were more responsive than his current car partner.

“I’m so glad you came with me,” he continued, blurting out whatever came to mind. “I appreciate it! When Kun suggested a little getaway, I was so excited. It’s good to take a break, you know? Get away from the university and stuff.”

Up ahead, the pull off came into view. It wasn’t any great tourist stop, just a dirt pull off with a few picnic tables and a small stairway that accessed the flatter rocks along the water’s edge. The outcroppings were primarily made of black rocks, with a jutting, uneven shoreline, but small tide pools dotted here and there, with a few paler rocks and some moss-covered ones mixed in.

“How nice!” he said, nearly cringing at his own faux enthusiasm. Why was this so hard? He and Dejun had always gotten along well, both in moments of happiness and seriousness. He typically found the other easy to talk to and they’d gotten into more than their fair share of hijinks, usually with Yukhei or Guanheng at their side. “Let’s have a look around.”

The air was just as salty here, but the sound of the water was louder. To the right, the incline between the road and the water was stepper, almost a drop off, and the water beat against the rock faces more harshly than the vista point.

Yangyang made a point of wandering around, calling out whatever happened to catch his attention and gushing about the view as he took pictures. It certainly wasn’t an ugly spot, but it was also a far cry from any muse-inspiring splendors. The horizon was distant, deep blue water meeting the light blue of the midday sky, and the shoreline, with its uneven black rocks, stretched on either side of them. The higher section of the vista point was primarily dirt, with small bunches of grass and a handful of wild flowers.

“I bet there’s all sorts of interesting things in these little tide pools,” he called, venturing out further. Dejun remained standing a few feet from the bottom of the stairs, staring slowly around him. Yangyang dropped into a crouch and peered into the vaguely cloudy water. Moss. Maybe what looked like a tangle of seaweed. Not even a singular crab or snail to behold. Under the guise of taking a photo, he clicked into his text messages.

Bypassing the slew of unintelligible emojis from Yukhei, he opened up his conversation with Kun. He typed quickly.

To: Mama Bear Kun _  
Idk what I’m doing  
Everything is super awk_

The response came immediately.

From: Mama Bear Kun  
 _Just talk to him._  
 _Ask him what he needs._

Easier said than done, Yangyang thought as he got to his feet. Dejun cut a pathetic picture, a solitary man on a rock. His light blue flannel hung off his frame, twitching lightly in the wind and making him look as though he might be swept away any minute.

Swallowing thickly, Yangyang walked over, trying to summon a coherent sentence to his lips. Dejun, however, beat him to it.

“You don’t have to pretend,” he said, eyes still on the horizon as Yangyang came up next to him. “We both know why we’re here.”

“We all just want to help,” Yangyang said, surprised by the guilt he felt. He hadn’t done anything wrong. So they’d all conspired a bit to try and help out a friend. It had to be better than going on as if everything was fine. “You seem so sad.”

“I don’t feel sad,” Dejun said immediately, shaking his head slightly. For the first time in what felt like years, he met Yangyang’s gaze. “I just feel mixed up inside. Tired.”

“It’s okay to feel that way.”

“Yeah, but what do I do with it? How do I make this stupid feeling in my chest go away?”

“Like closure?” he asked, feeling way out of his depth. Other than a few pets and a handful of relatives he vaguely knew, Yangyang had never lost anyone close to him. He didn’t know much about grief or mourning or how to move on.

“I guess so,” Dejun said, shrugging.

Yangyang bit his lip, debating if he should ask the question that had been on his mind for weeks. It felt impolite, intrusive even, but how would they get anything out of this weekend if he didn’t push things a bit? “You and your dad didn’t get along?” He watched Dejun carefully as he spoke, in case there were any signs that he needed to turn back immediately.

Instead, Dejun exhaled noisily and rolled his neck a bit. He crouched down to sit on the rocks, arms resting on his bent knees. Yangyang followed suit, sitting down next to him and trying not to grimace too much as the rocks dug into his tail bone. He let his shoulder brush up against Dejun’s, but faced forward, so as not to pressure the other. He thought Kun might be proud of his consideration.

“It’s not, I don’t know, traumatic, or something,” Dejun said finally. “He just didn’t…like me very much.” Dejun’s shoulders came up a bit as he said it. His fingers scratched absently over his jeans. Yangyang thought about reaching out, about taking his hand and saying _I_ like you very much. But he didn’t want to cut off the flow of words, now that they had finally begun. He pressed just a hair closer, pleased to feel some of the tension of Dejun’s shoulders ease up as they brushed together. He continued, “I don’t think he liked kids in general because he gave the same cold shoulder to my brother. I think mostly he was just…sad. A sad guy whose life never lived up to his hopes.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“That’s just it,” Dejun said, shaking his head and dropping his head to his chest. “People keep saying how sad it is and how unfortunate for me and how hard it must be to lose my father so young, but I feel like I barely ever knew him. And then I feel like a bad person for not caring.”

“You’re not a bad person.” That, at least, was an easy assertion to make. Even if he felt unsure of how to address the pain he saw before him, Yangyang’s love for Dejun required no thought at all. “You’re one of my closest friends. One of the people I trust the most in this whole wide world. And you’re awesome, you never say no when I ask you to go in on a pizza and you always let me pick the toppings and you help me with my homework whenever I ask. You’re always there, for all of us, and you’re passionate and you think about things in a unique way. I don’t know, you’re just, like, you, and it’s great.”

He hadn’t realized he was rambling until his words ran out and he blinked back to himself. At some point, he’d looked down at his hands, which shook and gestured vaguely as he spoke. He glanced back up, ready to apologize, only to stop himself.

Dejun was staring at him, mouth parted slightly and eyes wide and red. He looked as though he’d seen something truly awe inspiring, as though Yangyang and his ramble were the greatest sight he’d ever seen.

In a tiny voice, Dejun asked “Really?” and Yangyang’s heart seized in his chest. “That’s really how you see me?”

“Yes,” Yangyang said, unable to stop himself from taking one of Dejun’s hands in his. “Of course. I could go on forever. You’re Dejun, you’re awesome. I mean, look how many awesome people you have around you? Doesn’t that say something about you? Hey, no, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry…”

He cupped Dejun’s cheek and used his thumb to wipe away the tear that had gathered there, just as he’d seen Ten and Kun do plenty of times before. He hadn’t expected the warmth of Dejun’s skin to be so intense, but it wasn’t unpleasant. His skin was soft, despite his sharp jaw and cheek lines, and it fit well in Yangyang’s hand.

Dejun sniffed. “I’m just worried that’s gonna be me someday. What if I die and no one really cares? What if I’m never happy with my life?”

“It’s not going to be like that,” Yangyang said, sliding his hand down to squeeze Dejun’s shoulder. “First, because you’ve got us. We’ll always be by your side. Your life is full of potential, until the day you die, there are always new opportunities. It’s never too late.” It was the same thing Sicheng had told him one night, not long before Yangyang’s first night of college, when Yangyang had been crushed under the weight of deciding the course of his future. What if he didn’t like his career? What if he picked the wrong major? But your early twenties aren’t the end all be all, Sicheng had told him. You could always change your whole life down the line. It had taken a while to settle in, to ease off the anxiety a bit, but he was grateful now to have that advice to offer to his friend. Yukhei had chimed in as well, unexpectedly awake on the couch, and it was his words that Yangyang drew on next. “Never stop trying to be happy. You don’t want to be like your dad? Then do what makes you happy and don’t be afraid to change things if it doesn’t work out.”

Dejun choked on a laugh. His voice was wet as he spoke, “When did our baby get so mature?”

“I’m not a baby!” He jerked back, barely dodging a nose boop and almost getting a poke in the eye by accident. “We’re having a serious moment,” he scolded. He couldn’t help but grin though, when Dejun gave him a shaky smile. That was more than he’d seen in weeks. “You know what you should do? You should run into the water and scream at the sky. You know how they do that in movies?”

Dejun’s eyebrows crawled towards his hairline. “You want me to run into the water? It must be freezing. Why would I do that?”

“For…for catharsis. That’s what you’re supposed to do! You’re supposed to, like, scream it out and then everything is better.”

Dejun snorted, crossing his arms. “I think I’ll pass. It’s April, the water will be too cold. Only an idiot would go in.”

“I would go in,” he insisted immediately, pride wounded as he climbed to his feet. It was the perfect place for such a cinematic moment, for Dejun to get all of his emotions out there.

“My point exactly.”

With a huff, Yangyang marched towards the water, moving carelessly across the rocks, until he found a spot where the water appeared to be a foot or so deep. Staring pointedly at Dejun, he toed off his shoes, rolled up his pants and jumped in.

He tried to turn his gasp into a shout of excitement. But damn was it _freezing._ The water was up to his knees, soaking the bottom inches of his rolled up pants. Immediately his toes felt stiff and sore from the cold and he stumbled a bit on the uneven bottom.

“How is it?” Dejun said flatly, one judgmental eyebrow hiked up.

“It’s fantastic,” he called, trying not to let his teeth chatter. “Really great. You should come in and just, you know, let your thoughts out. Have a good scream at the universe.”

“Never in a million years. And I think maybe I should have a talk with Kun about limiting your screen time, you seem to be losing your grip on reality.”

“I’m not a kid! You don’t get to decide how much—”

Something shifted underfoot and he stumbled backwards, arms pinwheeling wildly around him. The rocks below were slippery and unsteady, preventing him from getting his footing back and before he knew it, he went over backwards. The water splashed up around him, obscuring his view with white and slapping his whole body with a tidal of iciness. His wrists and butt protested the ungainly landing immediately.

“Yangyang!”

He couldn’t open his eyes, which burned from the salt water, and he could barely hear over his own choking, but he felt hands on his arms, tugging him up and out of the water. He was seated against a rock, hands patting at his arms and face.

“Are you okay? Take a breath. It’s okay.”

His throat was on fire by the time he was able to drag in a few breaths. The salty air now felt dry and scratchy as he gulped it in, and it was all he could do to avoid bursting into another coughing fit. He blinked several times to clear his vision.

They were on the same rock Yangyang had first jumped off of. Dejun was beside him, one hand rubbing his back and one hand pressed against Yangyang’s chest to prevent him from falling face first into the water again.

“I’m okay,” he croaked out. Well that was colossal mess, he thought, eyeing Dejun’s worried expression. This was all supposed to be the other way around.

Dejun snorted. “Barely. Come on, let’s get out of this water—fucking freezing by the way—and back to hotel to dry off. I’ll buy you something warm to eat at the street festival.”

Yangyang looked at him in surprise. “I didn’t think you were listening earlier,” he admitted. Dejun often tuned out his rambles on the best of days, let alone today.

A look passed across Dejun’s face, something equal measures heartbroken and fond. His eyes went soft and lips quirked up on one side. His voice was quiet when he spoke, almost lost under the sounds of the water against the rocks. “I was listening.”

Dejun’s hands, one on his back and one on his chest, seemed to burn compared to his wet body, but it was a pleasant sensation. He reached out and rested a hand on Dejun’s arm, hoping to give back a little warmth. “Me too. I’ll listen too. If you…like, if you need. Or want. I’m just…here. For you.” It wasn’t his most eloquent, but the words clamored on his tongue, eager to lay his concern bare between them.

Dejun shifted his hold, pulling Yangyang in and tucking his chin over the younger’s shoulder. “I know.” His breath tickled along the back of Yangyang’s neck. They both smelt like salt water, Yangyang even more so, but he pressed closer anyway, tilting his head so he could rub his cheek against Dejun’s soft flannel. “I’m sorry for these past few weeks. It’s been…complicated.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” he said truthfully, even if the weeks of cold shoulders and quick brush offs had stung deeper than he’d expected. “We were just worried. You seemed so alone.”

With a breathy laugh, Dejun pulled back to stare at him. “Silly of me to think you all would ever leave me alone.” He slipped off his flannel and pulled it tight around Yangyang’s shoulders, waving off his protests before taking Yangyang’s hand in his and carefully leading them back across the rocks to the stairway.

“As if! You’re stuck with us, always. Even after you’re married, we’ll be, like, right there all the time.” He swung their clasped hands until he nearly sent them off balance. Dejun tugged him upright and marched him forward.

“Maybe you don’t need to be right there right after my wedding. You know, because I think that’s supposed to be for sexy times.”

“Nope!” he said, popping the P loudly. “Right there. You’ll just have to explain to your future wife or husband that you’ve got these six friends who hang around all the time and they’ll have no choice but to love us too.”

“Great,” he groaned, trudging up the stairs. “That won’t be weird to explain.”

When they got to the top of the stairs, Yangyang swung his arms over Dejun’s shoulders, hugging him tightly from behind, flannel spread across the length of his arms like a cape. “You’re stuck with us!”

“You’re all wet!” Dejun screeched, writhing in Yangyang’s hold. “Get off!” He bucked Yangyang off and stumbled a few steps away.

“You’re wet too,” he pouted, pointing at Dejun’s dripping jeans. Dripping because he’d run right in after Yangyang without a moment of hesitation. Dejun stared as his pant legs with a frown. “Aw, it’s okay,” Yangyang was quick to add. “There are worse ways to spend an afternoon than hot showers and good food.”

With a long suffering sigh, Dejun nodded, going around to the driver’s side. Yangyang bit back his pleased surprise. “Yeah, I think we could both do with a hot shower and change of clothes. I’m sure there’ll be all sorts of yummy things at the market to eat,” Dejun said. Just before getting in the car, he stopped, one foot in and one foot out. Yangyang stopped as well and they made eye contact across the roof of the car.

“Thanks,” Dejun said, slipping into his seat before Yangyang could reply.

Not too shabby, Yangyang thought to himself. The afternoon may have been fraught with a lot more mishap than if Ten or Kun had come, but he got Dejun to talk to him, even if only for a bit. And tonight would be fun, he was certain. Yeah, not too shabby at all. “Any time,” he said to the open space before dropping down to climb into his seat.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed, please leave kudos or drop a comment below, they really make my day :D I wish you all a great weekend - stay safe and take care of yourselves <3


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